Shane's Diagnosis

Shane has been diagnosed as moderately autistic.
I thought I was prepared to hear the news, I sorta knew that it would be true but deep down I guess I was holding out some hope that the docs would just say he is just a little behind, a little shy, that he would come out of it... but when they actually said yes Shane is autistic, it really hit me hard. I couldn't stop crying...I was also pretty shocked when they said he was moderately autistic. I thought for sure he would only have a mild case- he does sometimes make eye contact and is so affectionate and loving. I feel guilty and sad and mad all at the same time. Its so unfair! I thought I did everything right, tried to be the best parent I could...

Then to top it off:
His appointment ended about 3:30ish so we went to eat after. Then we were on the road back home to Valdosta finally. Shane had fallen asleep in his carseat after a while. About 3 hours into the road trip, we stopped at a gas station for a bathroom break. I took Makenna in and then came back to the car then Mike went to the bathroom. I was sitting in the front passenger seat while the kids were in the back when suddenly I heard Shane wake with a startle, like he was having a nightmare or something and I looked back and he started having a Seisure! OMG I was so scared. i screamed his name and pulled him out of his car seat. I ran into the gas station screaming and crying and looking for Mike, and yelling "call 911!" His seisure lasted about 30 seconds, but a lifetime to me. It was the scariest thing I have ever seen. I couldn't stop crying and couldn't calm down. Shane was so limp and looked like he was dying. Mike ran out of the bathroom and thought that Makenna was kidnapped or something (she was still in the car), and i told him what happened. He was in shock. The ambulance came and I rode with Shane to the hospital. (we were about an hour away from Valdosta, in a town called Tifton). He had developed a high fever really quickly. I felt so guilty and torn up because I had no idea. We stayed at the hospital for a couple hours so they could bring his fever down. Luckily they said febrile seisures have no permanent damage. It was all so scary. We were finally back home in valdosta about 3 ish in the morning. I just can't believe all that had happened with Shane... it was a lot for me to take in one day.

I will post Easter pics and Shane's Baptismal pics tomorrow!